is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Once you've seen a girl stick a snake in her snatch normal stuff seems like Barney and friends
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
I'm like a great zombie Jesus.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
