He asked me if I "almost moaned"
yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
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she broke up with me and one of her excuses was constant soreness... should I be sad or proud?
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
I was having trouble getting it up so she grabbed it and said "no, it's too big to fail"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He was rocking just a diaper, shoes, and a gun. Sadly, I would still hit it.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
Pissing into the Grand Canyon is the single most liberating thing I've ever done in my entire life
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
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