im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
you threw your tampon into someones open car window...while they were driving.
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Randomize
