what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
How do you wash franks red hot sauce, whip cream, grapejuice and shame out of silk?
I would just throw it away. You cant just wash out shame, it has to soak for like a month.
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I never thought the most recent texts on my phone would be with ASAP ferg and my ex...
and then you two started interpretive dancing to Mozart
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
Randomize
