i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
i am so afraid to go to the bathroom. i am afraid i am going to fall asleep on the toillet.
Special does not even begin to describe that text.
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
It's like split custody, only he's not a kid and they have sex with him.
Perfect. And my grandma just called me and talked to me for eighteen minutes telling me that she was worried because of my Halloween costume that I'm not a Christian and that I'm not eating. Wtf.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
I woke up in the bathtub with money shoved down my pants. I must've done something right.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
This whole brainwashing thing is easy!
Randomize
