And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
Best oral ever, hands down so to speak. but I'm starting to want to meet that lesbian truck driver he says he's better than. Just for comparison purposes of course.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
brushed my teeth nine times since getting home, still afraid there are pubes hiding in between my molars. fucking gummy bears
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
You were making out w/ur brothers coach against a door when someone opened it and you both fell through... Then you continued to make out on the ground
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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