Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
hahaha he is wasted in math class right now and is drawing all the planets in order from the sun
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Do you think you're physically and mentally capable of killing me? Because I'd really appreciate it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
I'm gonna fuck that sweet little pussy of yours into absolute submission
Wow. Sorry. As soon as I sent that I felt inappropriate. But yes. Bring a sandwich after. Lol
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Had the weirdest dream last night. If you're ever in Texas, do not come over with a 12 pack as a bribe and ask for a threeway between you, me, and my TA. I will take the beer though.
We probably shouldn't have humped each other in a stairwell for an hour. that was probably my bad
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Randomize
