addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
My dad just told me he used to masturbate to cat woman...he then proceeded to beat my brother in beer pong and wont let me play...
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
I returned her cell phone that I found in the bathroom, I felt the stretcher and the ambulance was enough of a learning experience.
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
Randomize
