We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
Fact: Godrick looks like David Archuleta
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
its like what part of i just threw up mcdonalds breakfast means i want to make out with you?
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
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