Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I think his roommates are using word magnets to tell me that they can hear us. His fridge currently says, "Chris ate out naughty girl."
You were naked with a chalice of Skittles vodka, singing along to Les Miserables.
I actually feel a twinge of sadness recycling all of our handles... I feel like I'm throwing out some great memories or lack of them because we don't remember
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
so in other words, they broke and fell off and I ate a gummy life saver off of his balls
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
Randomize
