So is it bad that I'm using this 21 year old for his hot bod and utter naivety?
No its what 21 year olds are made for
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
If I could drive and get you Starbucks I would... But that's probably not a good idea. On account of the drugs.
I will no longer accept nudes from you because I met your boyfriend last night and he seems like a nice guy
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
We just broke up and deleting his dick pics is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Randomize
