There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
Dude just walked down the street literally wearing nothing but a small box around his waist carrying a case of beer. I want to live here for the rest of my life.
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
Wish me luck on my new penis adventure
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
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