he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
I'm currently trying to figure out how I woke up naked and handcuffed to my bed. Not real worried about class right now.
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
She needs sedatives and a leash
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
So last night was the first of "I got cut off before I walked in the bar".
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
Randomize
