even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I just sneezed and had an orgasam..THAT turned on
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
Look, if I'm too lazy to put any effort into sexting, you better believe I'm too lazy to put any effort into dating.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
You weren't singing into a microphone in front of an audience. You were screaming into your fist in the check-out aisle in Walmart.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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