RAWRRRR IMA PURPLE DINO
dude i'm sitting right next to you.. stop texting me
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
I didnt expect it either. But she was there and I had a boner, so i made it happen.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
Qdoba locked their bathrooms last night.. I suppose so people didn't pee all over them? I considered it counter productive considering I just peed on the outside of their building then. I had to pee
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
At tuba camp, the pickings are slim. It's like being the tallest midget.
What was the point of renting a $600 trolley if no one even remembers going to the first bar?
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Randomize
