No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So he said if we had sex he'd take me to Build A Bear. My virginity is so worth a trip to build a bear.
You're 20.
IT'S BUILD A BEAR!
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
So, remember how that one doctor said it was 1 in a million that I'd get pregnant...
Yeeah thank god
Well..welcome to parenting Mr. one in a million.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
Weve literally been going out drinking five days a week. That counts as a full time job right?
He just tagged everyone he's slept with this year in a 'memories of 2011' tweet
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Dude why is my bed and bedding wrapped in bubble wrap?
Cuz u wanted to insure u had a safe sleep
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