If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
By cross-referencing our messages & her Twitter feed, I've deduced that she was eating spaghetti the whole time we were sexting.
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
They just made me take another shot and I found out the liquor store next to my brothers house has a petting zoo
Mind. Blown.
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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