Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
A stripper just got mad at me for saying goddammit. She's in no position to lecture me on morality
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
Yesterdays boozy weather forecast has been extended to today
We have so much sex to catch up on
Did I really just send a work email with cum instead of come? feck me
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
Not sure if I should ask if I can have my underwear back or just avoid that all together.
Omg. I meet up with you guys with bodily fluids on my chin ONE time and suddenly I'm a whore.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
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