my little brother just caught me blowing my step cousin in the lobby bathroom at our family reunion
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
I called for backup and had two guys carry him to the shower. The bigger guy offered to wash his hair.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
For a second I thought I had fallen asleep on the floor and freaked out. Then I thought somehow I was on drugs. This is my life.
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
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