No awkward lesbian experiences without me
Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
i wish i could post a picture of his odd shaped penis on facebook and label it "wtf???"
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I just had the weirdest moment. Made eye contact at the bar with a girl who has seen my vagina.
Cleaning my room at 2am, in just one corner I found six beers, half a pint of whiskey, my flask, 2 shotgun bullets, my crown and shimmer lotion.
You came into my room and started rubbing a banana on your face.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
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