What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she gave up head for lent, but she said sex was still fair game
your mascara is on the toilet seat from when you fell asleep last night
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
The sound of my own breathing is making my head throb. That hungover.
What I thought was my travel sanitizer was actually my travel lube. Most awkward transit ride of all time!
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Yes. Ice cream tacos are an important aspect in the bridge of friendship
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize
