Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
There is a man in my bed with "new zealand" tattooed on his back. Wtf happened last night?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
Randomize
