Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
I went commando last night, then accidentally flashed a police van...They acknowledged it.
Sleeping with random people is the same as soul searching, right? Ps that wasn't a team name suggestion.
I'm getting married
To pizza
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
i just went to hell in the tanning bed. i think god is giving me a preview of what is in store if i keep getting drunk everyday.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
