the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
the toilet has never flushed louder then when you sneak home drunk and try to avoid your parents hearing you puke.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
I just had my first non-cocaine-induced nosebleed for the first time in 2 years. This calls for a celebration.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
I'd like to thank you fucktards for dumping the WHOLE box of Tricuits in my bed after I passed out.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
You ate ashes out of my bong
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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