i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
headbutted the bartender, tried to bite the bouncer, and pissed on a cops shoes. and i still got laid. god, it's good to be home
I forgot to tell you the best part. The folded up paper he wrote his number on opened up to be a picture of him when he was younger wearing a Columbia tshirt in front of NASA and in pen said his name and "space consultant."
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
We were making out on the floor and his 13 year old beagle crawled in between us & just sat there...I got cockblocked by an ancient beagle named Bubba
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
Do you think it would be weird to wear a shirt that says 'big fun small package' from an ex for a first date?
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