history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
I found her under my bed eating airplane pretzels.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
All the girls at the party had American flag thongs on... Pretty impressed with coordination seeing as how impromptu this event was
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
Yea. Some girl set a laundry machine on fire. She's not getting married.
I was peeing in the bathroom at this house party when a guy just casually stumbles out of the shower
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
is that a dick in a sweater?
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
I can't wait to see you again. It will be like when we first started dating- but with less clothes.
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