It wasn't awkward until he started humming the Rocky theme song in the middle of fucking
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just threw up in the bathroom next to the zebra exhibit. The kids don't know I skipped a beat. Best nanny, ever.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
I just gate-crahed a party and met a state senator, so I had an interesting afternoon jog.
i'll talk to you in three hours when you've stopped foaming at the mouth and your eyes have rolled back into place
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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