Small dicks are the new regular sized dicks.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
Had a dream I was a monkey and smoked pot out of a bong made out of a tree
im not sure if this headache is from the car accident or cocaine withdrawl
it got awkward when the only couple not hooking up was just watching..
I told them I was gay and asked them to pass the pie. I ruined pumpkin pie for grandpa.
Currently microwaving whipped cream to make white Russians and hotboxing the kitchen while this random kid is dancing in the corner.
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
It's either gonna be a cock in my mouth or a burger. You decide which.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Randomize
