Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
im drinking this country out of the recession.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
4 girls bringing me taco bell. this is what dreams are made of.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
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