I wish I only lived at night.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
I just remembered something. Did we really all flash the cab driver to get half off?
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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