ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
its no coincidence her full name and "cling" are the same in t9
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
Randomize
