hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
I keep having to have that awkward "I don't want to have sex with you" convo. I thought wearing sweatpants was suppose to prevent this situation..
Thank you for not boning my boss.
Spoiler alert: my plans for Halloween are going to make our dealer's birthday look like a bunch of mormon ladies having a scrapbooking circle
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
She's writing hockey erotica again.
Tell her to pick another team besides ours this time.
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