i'm so high i feel like the people i'm chatting with online can some how see that i'm naked.
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I blacked out, started puking and peed on the guy I was hooking up with. Mid hand job.
How old are you? 14? Who gives hand jobs anymore?
Salt in an open wound right now.
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
Would I be crazy if I drove 1,000 miles for some dick? What mile does it become ridiculous?
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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