Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
a price tag just fell out of my vag. i guess its worth $13.99...
Hey, did you take me to hospital last night?
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I had sex on a sidewalk in downtown Chicago... I don't think I have anymore morals to lose.
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
Do you remember telling those ppl that they need to mate and give you the baby and in 15 years you will all reunite and it will be a party?
Randomize
