I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
drunk her ninja stole one of the pizzas as it arrived and hid all of the pieces in a cereal box in the fridge.Genius.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
You fell asleep mid blowjob with my vibrator in your HAND. So no, I will not bring you pizza.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
How's work going?
Boring. I have a cat on a leash right now
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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