at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
That still doesn't explain why you thought it was a good idea to paint a cow on my guitar
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
He was basically a horny puppy - following me around all night and kept sticking his hand down my pants.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
I’m getting back at my ex and training my new boy toy how to properly satisfy a woman. I’m killing two birds with one dick.
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