its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
i felt like the dude nobody likes from the mikes hard lemonade commercial
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I think the taxi driver just requested me on facebook..... his name was george right?
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Ok now I cleared out half the bar and Em and I have 5 Jameson shots lined up for you. You have 15 min.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
Old men love us. For they have fine taste and disturbing minds.
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
i just woke up, first off why is there pineapple everywhere and who's underwear is on my ceiling fan ?
Randomize
