I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
Do you think the firemen will remember me?
Yes. But you were sloppy, sobbing, and puked on two of them. You won't get in their pants.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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