she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
New all-time record for most uncomfortable I've ever been. A midget just asked me to restrap his fanny pack in the bathroom.
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Well, she chose the fuckboy life or the life chose her. Not sure which one but either way I don't need that negativity in my life.
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
Randomize
