Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
Every single item that was in my fridge is now in my hot tub. Please help
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Just had a threesome with my best friend and LSAT teacher...just checked three things off my bucket list in one night
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
The whole country is going to hell in a handbasket but I got a grade A fucking and don't particularly care.
Randomize
