Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
i should probably stop thinking with my vagina, and start using that $70, 000 education i can't afford. what the fuck.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
Happy birthday and sorry I punched your friend in the face
he woke up this morning, drunk as fuck, butt ass naked, and he had left grandmas gun on the counter and doesn't know why.
She just kept feeding people pretzels and sayying "You're such a good goldfish."
he put a condom on for a handjob WTF
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