better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
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I'm texting you from across the beer pong table to tell you that the drunk chick you brought over needs to disappear. like now.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
He leaned over in the middle of the movie and said "My dick's name is Juan". WHO DOES THAT?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Today's hangover is probably top 3 of all time. Just threw up in an envelope. I'm on the ferry and didn't want to get out to puke over the side because I thought I might fall in the river.
As I was about to fuck him, he requested a moment of silence for Leonard Nimoy.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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