I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
Got my bloodwork back and my liver is in tip top shape. Apparently blacking out 5 nights a week isn't cutting it, so we've got to step it up until I see that all of my hard work is actually paying off and doing some damage.
Sunday is the day of rest.
As in, whatever liquor is left after last night, you have to drink the rest.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
This strip club is mediocre. Talent is fine. Fung shui is bad.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Can we make love to the Space Jam soundtrack?
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
I think this is the first time I heard a lesbian version of baby it's cold outside.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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