I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Anderson Cooper just came out.
Crying tears of glitter and rainbows right now. Gonna decorate my dildo like My Little Pony in his honor.
you should be awarded for your promiscuity.
i really should.
She looked up at the menu and yelled this is my absolute favorite literacy
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
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