your parents love me but you hate me
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
Your grammar in that last text message was so awful.. My vagina wants to go crawl in a hole, and never speak to you again.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
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