Hey guys, just to let you know, I have a boyfriend...so that hookup was kind of a one time thing.
was that a mass text??
I don't call you at 3 in the morning to start a fucking relationship.
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
If only guys knew how much awkward ass shaving goes into making sex this good...
No, this time she was diabetic. I think I fucked her into diabetic shock.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
It is unclear if my flaming esophagus is hangover induced.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I did a trust fall off the bar and then almost got into a knife fight over a push up competition. Just another Tuesday.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
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