She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
Woke up next to my bed in a pile of skittles, sleeping on a pair of sweatpants. I can't believe the girl didn't stick around..
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
We built a fire and had sex in the kiddie pool. Then he washed my hair
Strong work
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I fucked your neighbor. Welcome to the new apartment!
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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