That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
this kid down the hall keeps banging on his drums...i feel like i'm living in jumanji
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
...there is blood under my fingernails.
...I hope my roomates are okay.
I was taking a bath and he burst in, sat down and started taking a shit. RIGHT BESIDE ME. My lack of privacy astounds me.
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
He has great taste in girls. I feel closer to my Eskimo sisters than my real sister...
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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