Yeah well I just ate cereal out of a muffin pan with a fork. I'll flip a coin as to who has to tackle that pile of dishes we've neglected for 3 weeks.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
next time we make out at a concert please try to refrain from screaming out our hotel room number.. the amount of guys that knocked on our door after you passed out was ridiculous
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
A stranger came up to me, pointed at my drink and asked what it tasted like and proceeded to chug half of it and then walked away.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Randomize
