Only in Alabama do they play hymns in a bar!!!
if you don't open the door right now liz is going to get pregnant
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I just sent an "I'm sorry I forged a prescription in your name" email. It was one of the more awkward things I've done this week.
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
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