i'm trying to reconcile what i did last night with who i am as a person.
New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's a man in a pair of gray footie pajamas and a paper crown watching the kids at the playground. It was easier to tell who was a pedophile before Where the Wild Things Are came out.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
third nipple confirmed
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I was drunk in the shower and i decided to shave. Im now bleeding to death
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
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