i'm sure her mom would have loved to find out her daughter has herpes via facebook
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Evidently I told a girl she should leave the bar because no one wanted to fuck her.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
I didn't know whether to laugh at the fact that a dog bit his balls or throw up cause my dad was telling me a story involving his balls.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
