After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
I bought a bottle of 100 proof for the storm. I am going to drink until I pass out. I'm taking bets. 1:30 pm is the over/under.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
She thinks she's a fairy, dude. A real fucking fairy with wings and shit.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
I'm gonna be the best dressed mother fucker to ever get kicked out of that damn bar.
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
I'm good. But Nutella doesn't taste as good as it used to.
So what happened at girls night? My roomate found me passed out locked out on the front steps of the house and it was raining. Yes low moment
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