My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
my hip hurts so fuckin bad. and I just found a half eaten burrito in my nightstand drawer.
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
It's stupid hot. I just want to be laying in a bathtub full of margaritas
Text me back. Urgent. It is a porta Keep the portal alive.
Is this the acid talking?
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
I wear drunk well.
Randomize
