I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I was just at the bank and there was a fat lady wearing a cape. today is gonna be awesome.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
i had to get the starbucks manager to open the bathroom door for me...you passed out on the floor, the things i do for you
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
There is a dude in a thong with a Nerf axe having battles in the street. Welcome to Portland
Over 50% of the drunkest nights I have ever had began with me saying "I'll just drink my dinner" to you.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
Dude we were sitting at my place stoned as fuk then someone knocks on the door and it was my neighbor giving me a huge box of cookie dough. Magic of weed.
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