ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Fuck 8am classes
Dear Jesus I'm gonna throw up through my eyes
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
as soon as his mom opened the door to let me in the house she asked if i would like a shot
it's gonna be a great weekend
so i say "rick dont build that sandcastle" and he "says ok i wont" then i wake up and its sandcastle fucking city all over my apartment
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
I want to put in my resignation as an adult. From now on I will be spending my time drinking beer and skiing.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
The beer bottle was sticking out of your zipper and you shook it onto unsuspecting patrons
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
Whose house did we sneak into and play beer pong for 4 hours at last night?
I honestly have no idea
what a classic moment of my life. A buffet of taco bell and a taser gun.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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