Sorry I totally forgot to text you back. When you texted me I was at work at the pharmacy and it was stupid busy. And then of course I had my 8 hour "shoot me b/c half of Loyola comes in to buy plan B" shift.
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
Some ambulance just rolled up to this bar and this girl just hops out of the back and walks inside
I feel like I've been drunk all of June. And I am in NO WAY ashamed about it.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
Apparently you need a permit for a flamethrower.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
She wanted me to stick my dick in the birthday cake she got me
Randomize
