She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
I'm drinking away my Christmas cash. People are going to get bar receipts as presents.
i don't think my family understands the severity of a twenty first birthday.
Just heard her singing at the school concert... I am honored my penis was touched by those pipes
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
You put me in such a good mood with that road head, I bought everyone at Hooters donuts.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
