video games are the ultimate cock blocker
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We ended up getting arrested after we flagged down the cops for a ride home with open beers in our hands... turns out the "nobody told me" excuse doesn't cut it anymore
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
What do you think french fries on pizza would taste like?
i already know. Delicious. Use ranch.
I'm just going to text him the word sex repeatedly until he comes over.
Did it work?
Duh, it only took 27 texts and 15 minutes and he was at my front door.
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They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
He’s like an awkward walking penis that has a personality attached
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