Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
In the middle of the State of the Union, she unzipped my pants and started giving me head. I've never been so proud to be an American.
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
Did i tell you my idea for my life plan? Not the one that involves stripping.
There two guys dressed as FEMA workers with jump-suits that say "Post-Disaster Breast Examination Division"
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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