I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
the cops were hovering over him then shinned a flashlight to the floor above ours, then I realized that some fucker jumped from the third story.
fuck our hall.
I'm watching a man in drag spread food products on his face my life is spiraling out of control.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Though my hair looks fantastic i will unfortunately have to turn down your 4am sex offer
I can measure my amount of vomit in solo cups.
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
She broke up with me after I spent the whole day speaking in nothing but Marshawn Lynch quotes.
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
