the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I just accidentally stumbled into an AA meeting...I think its a sign
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
The last text I sent him was about nachos. Frankly, if he can't respond positively to that he can fuck off...
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize