I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
I am in a vortex of obligation.
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
I won't be sarcastic... just naked
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
HIDE THE INFLATABLE PENIS
Randomize
