hotel room ftw
I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
you'll never guess what i found when i got home...
a cake, in the toilet
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
Oh, also as a concerning side note, my bra had drops of blood on it. So I don't know what the deal was, but someone I was around was definitely bleeding a decent amount.
You thanked your mom for the gymnastic lessons so you could do a keg stand
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
