i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I bought a fake diamond ring to wear, not only to bars to keep the creeps away, but so that I'll be judged less by the front desk girl at Planned Parenthood
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
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