This is the kind of period I feel I should name out of respect to the fact I might have just gotten lucky this time.....
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
Important info for allergy season. An orgasm will unblock stuffy sinuses.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Dedicating my hangover to whoever the hell I hooked up with in the bathroom last night.
just kidding, dedicating it to the gods of mexican food. omnomnom
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
Randomize
