yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
Most awkward car ride ever. Kid in the front seat was bawling, 2 in the backseat were ready to fight, and I was giving the last kid a handie. This needs to stop happening to us.
Parents said they were cutting off my AmEx card. So I immediately went up to the liquor store and purchased $550 of booze before it was canceled. I'm expecting your arrival in 30 minutes.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Was the picture of her twerking on a fake plant sufficient?
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize
