god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
Whose surfboard did we steal and why is there a wood carving of a pelican in the fridge where the beer used to be?
I wanna dance tonight. i just wanna grind my ass in some man's dick.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
I'm sitting in the breakroom facing a very large sign that says "inappropriate workplace behaviors", and i can't help but feel like it is directed at me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
A warmed up burrito and jelly beans. The breakfast of champions.
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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