hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Telling me that I would make a great "occasional fuck" was not appreciated.
he was grinding on you and dedicated the song "I'm in Love With a Stripper" to you then started taking his own clothes off
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
You are allergic to dogs. DO NOT kidnap something you are allergic to. No matter how fluffy.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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