the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
I have a feeling that after last night, i'm not just going to hell. i'm going to hell on a full scholarship. free admission bitches
Dude. No way. She insults the term butterface. She's a butternothing.
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
seriously my hangover is so bad I feel like my eye lashes make blinking a workout
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
One eye has cum in it and the other has sunscreen
summertime
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
I wonder what dick looks like without astigmatism?
We have angered the beer gods. It feels like I'm shitting angry cats.
What! I said that you would fall in love? See I know better. Dark liquor makes me think everything is a dream. I barely remember saying that
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