im the poster child for why you shouldnt play beer pong with wine.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
How did she break his doorknob?
That was our fault. We put a chair under the doorknob so that she wouldn't wander out of his room in the middle of the night and jump into bed with her ex. But she's stronger than we thought.
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I hurt myself, but I'm pretty sure I saved the carpet.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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