some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
i just learned how to squirt via google. life is good.
I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
We already established this. No, he did not cum on the dog.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
He can keep it, but if he asks for anything else i'm just going to start pissing on things.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
How many of my Tinder dates can my Christian roommate accidentally meet in the hallway at 3am before she's horrified and moves out?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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