Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
When you get home...find me in the shower. Only safe place at the moment.
I just almost puked & then I panicked and forced it back down because I thought I would be a waste of the apple turnover I ate.. I'm that hungover
Omg I can't even...
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
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