I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
The gyno waiting room is so strange because the pregnant woman next to me is making a PowerPoint of her pregnant photo shoot with her husband and I’m sitting here trying to figure out from Instagram who I had sex with on Sunday lol
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
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