dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
I lost of the blow last night. Found it later in my bag labeled Fairy Dust.
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Life is so much better when you know you're gonna get laid soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
Your mankini haunted my dreams.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
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